Josiah's Birth Story-Part 2

Friday morning, (9 days after my estimated due date), I woke up around 3:30 am with more contractions. I started timing them since they were pretty regular. They were 3 minutes apart and lasting 30 seconds or longer. A little after 5am, I decided to go ahead send my doula a text. She called me right back and would be over soon. I was excited and prayed this time it really was labor! I woke up Tim to tell him. He made me some toast and got me some water.

Around 6:30, my doula arrived. I was lying on my bed listening to music from Narnia and Enya on Pandora. My contractions had slowed down to 6 minutes apart, but were getting stronger and lasting close to a minute long. She checked my progress and I was a little over 4cm. (Doula's don't normally check, but she was almost certified to be a midwife, so it was a bonus for me!) Every time I got out of bed, the contractions would get closer together and more painful. We decided I should stay out of bed and see if the contractions would pick back up.

Tim's dad arrived at 7 am to take the kids to his house. I gave each of them a kiss before they left and told them they were going to have a new baby brother today. We headed downstairs around 7:45 am. I found the most comfortable position during contractions was kneeling on the stairs.The contractions were staying regular. Someone always had to apply counter pressure to my lower back during each contraction to ease some of the pain of back labor.

I ate some more toast since labor was progressing. I had to keep my strength up! After I ate, I began squatting during each contraction to see if that would help move things along. They became more intense. I was ok as long as I could get into position quick enough. A couple of times I wasn't in position yet and when I tried to move I would get muscle spasms on top of the contraction.

Around 8:45 am, Tim and my doula discussed heading to the hospital in about 45 minutes if my contractions continued the way they were going. I started getting emotional during contractions. I was so thankful for how supportive and encouraging Tim was being. His words meant so much to me and it really got me going when he told me we'd be meeting our baby soon!

At 9:30 am, my doula decided to check me again. Becoming emotional is a normal progression of labor and she suspected I was entering transition. She was right! I was 7 cm! I was amazed because I couldn't believe how much I had progressed and I was still able to manage the pain! (I had always received an epidural by 4-1/2 cm). She told me that I may not be 7 cm when they check me at the hospital because driving there could slow things down and possibly reverse some of my progress. But, we didn't want to wait too much longer and end up not making it and delivering in the car.

On the way to the hospital, I had 2 contractions. They were very painful because Tim couldn't give me counter pressure on my back. We arrived at the hospital at 9:45 am. I had a contraction in front of the hospital while Tim was dropping the car off for valet. My doula and parents arrived. I was crying because I knew this was it and we'd finally be meeting our baby soon! (and I was in transition)

We got into the elevator to go up to the birth center. As we were waiting to go into the birth center, I had another contraction. The nurse said only one person could come back with me. So everyone else waited. My mom and doula were concerned that it was taking so long. They thought I might end up delivering in triage!

After about 20 minutes, the nurse checked me and I was 7 cm. She asked me how long it took for me to push with my other babies and I told her less than 15 minutes. She said his head was really low, so if I felt like I needed to push then I needed to call her immediately.

I was transported to my labor/delivery room in the triage bed instead of a wheelchair (just to be safe, I guess!). My mom, dad, sister and doula were all there. The nurse asked me if I could get out of the triage bed and into the bed in the room. I got up and then stood at the new bed holding onto the railing as I had another contraction. My doula came right over to talk me through the contraction and Tim was applying counter pressure.

Tim applying counter pressure
I chose not to wear a hospital gown this time. I bought a birthing skirt and nursing top.
It was great to be wearing my own clothes!

There were 3 or 4 nurses in the room with us. One of them said she would be putting in a port for an IV in case I needed one. She said she'd wait and do it in between contractions. It was 10:50 am (I only know that because my dad had taken a picture of Tim and the clock was behind him!). I told her it wouldn't be easy to get the port in me and my mom told her the anesthesiologist usually has to do it. As the nurse began digging the needle in my hand, I yelled. She was 'fishing for a vein', but was unsuccessful and I was having another contraction.

I wasn't coping well with having contractions while standing up anymore and had to get into a different position. I remember wishing I could be back home kneeling on my stairs! One of the nurses asked if I wanted a birthing ball to sit on. I said sure and then got into the bed on my knees, facing the back and put my head against the top. The nurse came back over and told me to bring my arm up so she could try to get the port in again. I put my arm up and rested my head on the other arm. She still couldn't get it in.

I started having stronger contractions. As labor became overwhelming, I began saying, "No" and "I can't" over and over. Not because I wanted to quit and get an epidural. It was just the only thing I could say in the moment. I remember my doula and Tim kept saying, "Yes, you can. It's almost over. You're doing great!" My doula says she remembers looking over at Tim and seeing a wonderful mix of emotions on his face. He knew he'd see his baby soon and was excited, but also overwhelmed. I was so proud of Tim. He was such an amazing support to me! He had been so nervous about being my labor coach, but he definitely rose to the occasion!

I began feeling a bubbling sensation and pressure. Tim said my voice went down an octave. I vaguely remember the nurses telling me (and asking me) to tell them when I felt the need to push. I didn't know what was happening and couldn't answer them. It was very strange. My doula told the nurse I was starting to push. Then one of the nurses was said it sounded like I was bearing down. They weren't really paying attention though because they still had to get a port in my arm!

All of a sudden, my water broke! Tim said it was so loud it echoed in the room! A nurse asked me if I could turn around and sit down. I felt paralyzed from muscle spasms and thought everyone was going to have to help me because I couldn't move. My doula asked the nurse if the pad under me could be changed first so I wouldn't be sitting where my water had just landed. The nurses scrambled to get a clean pad under me, but it seemed like it took so long. (Sometime in here they called the doctor to come over).

Finally, I sat down on my clean pad and felt the baby coming down. (I specifically remember feeling the 'ring of fire'. I had read about it, but didn't know what it would be like). The nurse was sitting on the edge of the bed getting some gauze out. I thought she was going to check my cervix to see if I was complete. But, it turns out she was actually getting ready to try putting the port in again because she had a job to do and had to keep trying to complete it!

I started yelling at her that he was coming and she didn't believe me. She was saying, "Calm down, don't push. Wait for the doctor." I just went with what my body was doing and ignored her. I didn't really feel like I had much control over what was happening anyway! (I thought about it afterward and I think the nurses aren't used to dealing with women who can't stop pushing at the drop of a hat like you can when you're medicated). She wasn't listening to me at all. I kept saying, "No, he's here! He's coming NOW!" She still wouldn't look to check. Finally, my doula bent over to look her in the eye and said, "Really, look! His head is RIGHT THERE!" She looked down, gave up on the port and grabbed a glove. My doula was about ready to reach over and deliver him! (She was almost certified to be a midwife). The nurse barely got the glove over her fingers and barely touched his head before it was completely out! Then the rest of his body came out without any assistance. She didn't even have time to check for a cord around his neck! Tim says he shot out like a rocket!

The nurse clamped the umbilical cord and asked Tim if he wanted to cut it. He tried, but was so shaky he couldn't do it. The other nurses took the baby to clean him up and get his stats. It was the first time they haven't let me hold my baby right after delivery. I think they told me they were going to do that and I'd get him in a few minutes. Then the "delivering" nurse told me she was going to give me a shot of Pitocin in my leg to help with the bleeding. I was puzzled because I had never heard of that before. (Maybe they always did that and I just didn't realize it because they put it in my IV). I looked at my doula and asked if I needed it and she said no. Then I told the nurse I didn't think I needed it. She then said it wasn't up to me to decide and she'd talk to the doctor. Alrighty then...

Right after that, I remember the doctor coming into the room and the nurse telling him I didn't want the Pitocin. He said that was fine and he'd would see how I was doing. He came over to introduce himself and said he could hear me yelling in the background when the nurse called him, so he tried to get there faster. He went ahead and started cleaning me up. He said I didn't tear. (Praise the Lord!) He was not gentle when cleaning me and a couple of times I told him he was hurting me. (I don't think doctors are used to dealing with women who can feel what they're doing since most women are numb from the epidural!) At some point, the placenta was delivered and Tim went out to see if his mom had arrived. (She got there just after I delivered!) After the doctor was finished, he congratulated me and left.

Born on July 29th, 2011 at 11:10 am

The nurse brought our baby boy back over to us. Tim and I held him. Then my sister and the grandparents held him. I was so relived it was over and he was FINALLY here! One of the nurses said I looked better than I should after just delivering a baby!

Deciding on a name was more challenging this time. I wanted to keep our theme of names ending in 'ah'. Tim wanted to do something different. We finally decided on Josiah. He was a king and a very godly young man. Now we had two boys named after prophets and one after a king!

Our fabulous family of six!

For his middle name, I was still pushing for Graham because that is Tim's middle name. He was still saying no. Finally, he agreed and we had our baby boy's name!

Kangaroo baby

Keeping my little guy warm

I am so thrilled to finally have a positive birth experience to share! My prayers were answered! He came in his own time, I got to deliver naturally and overall, it went smoothly.

Josiah's Birth Story-Part 1

Surprisingly, it took us awhile to decide if we really wanted to have a fourth child. Were we ready to go through another pregnancy? Were we ready for all the newborn phase entails? Were we prepared to make the sacrifices necessary to provide for another child? The answer to all of them was yes because we knew that it would only be really difficult for a time. It was another season of life to work through. We recognized that our doubts were mainly selfish reasons. God would provide whatever we needed. The biggest question we kept coming back to was: Do we honestly feel that our family is complete? The answer we both had was: No.

We conceived right after Isaiah turned 2 years old. I was sick again. I wasn't homeschooling anymore and we lived 30 minutes away from the school. It was hard to drive the kids to school every morning while I was feeling so nauseous. Even though I had managed to make it through 3 pregnancies without medication, I knew I would have to do something this time. I had 3 other kids to take care of and my husband was working and going to school full time. I couldn't function without some help.

My doctor suggested I start by taking Unisom. It helps curb some of the nausea and would help me sleep. It didn't completely eliminate my morning sickness, but it helped enough that I could do what needed to be done.

We traveled by car for Thanksgiving. It was a long drive to Utah. Tim did all the driving because I felt too sick to drive. I did some black friday shopping with my cousins. It was rough, but I managed. :)

I felt sick for most of the pregnancy. I didn't get much relief from the nausea. I usually feel pretty good during the fifth or sixth month. I think my body just had a lot to deal with this time around.

Right before we found out I was pregnant, one of Isaiah's doctors referred us to a pediatric cardiologist. We knew he had a heart murmur, but she heard something else. We took him in and they did an echo. We found out that he has aortic stenosis with a dilated aorta. The cardiologist was surprised that our doctor heard the clicking noise and referred us. Most doctors aren't trained to hear it, so most people don't discover they have it until they are around 10 years old and other symptoms arise. We are so very thankful for our awesome pulmonologist who heard it and God's hand over it all!

Aortic stenosis is usually genetic so we needed to keep an eye on our baby's heart in case this one had it too. This meant that I would have several ultrasounds from a specialist throughout the pregnancy. The doctor couldn't see everything he needed to see because the baby wasn't cooperating. (Was this a sign of things to come?) After a couple more ultrasounds the doctor was concerned that there was a problem with the baby's heart. We came back for another ultrasound and everything looked ok. He thinks what he was seeing is pretty common, but most women don't have ultrasounds looking at their baby's heart and so the way the valves were forming was questionable. God knew all along and was taking care of our baby as we were trusting in Him.

I didn't want to find out the gender of the baby this time either, but again, Tim wanted to know. We found out we were having another boy! Wow, 3 boys and a girl! I was hoping for another girl so we'd have 2 of each. Mikaela cried when we told her we were having another boy. She really, REALLY wanted a sister. Well, God had other plans for our family! She is still hoping to have a sister someday if we adopt. Elijah was also hoping for a sister too, but for different reasons. He wanted our family to be even with 3 girls and 3 boys. Oh well!

Everything was going well with the preparation of my first natural birth. I had read everything I could read. Sought encouragement from those who had done it before or who were on the same path. I was even doing the exercises I was supposed to do (to strengthen and get ready for labor, but also to try and turn the baby around so I wouldn't have back labor again). We had a private session with a Bradley instructor. We met with my doula. All that was left to do was pray and trust that God had it all under control.

I was hoping the extra strain of caring for 3 kids and Tim working and going to school would cause this baby to come a little early. However, the trend of my other births didn't show much promise. My first was born at 38 weeks. My second at 39 weeks. My third was on his due date. Surely he wouldn't wait that long!

I had been having contractions (Braxton Hicks) for almost the entire third trimester. As 38 weeks approached, I knew it could turn into labor at any time. Then 39 weeks came and I began to worry that I was going to be forced into induction. I REALLY wanted my last labor and delivery to be completely natural.

My doctor had asked if I wanted to schedule an induction. I said no. At 40 weeks, my doctor asked one last time. He said he was going to be on vacation the following week and if I wanted him to deliver, I would have to be induced. Having him deliver baby #3 was SO important to me. This time, however, having a natural birth was more important to me. He scheduled an ultrasound to check the amniotic fluid level and ordered a non-stress test. If those came back ok, he would allow me to keep waiting for baby to come on his own.

On Wednesday, July 27th, Tim and I went in for the testing. The ultrasound showed that he was doing great and the fluid level was just fine. The non-stress test showed that I was having regular contractions 4 minutes apart. Baby was doing great and it looked as though he would be making his appearance very soon! I was the last appointment of the day so after the testing, the nurses walked out with us to go home. In the elevator, they joked that I should go get a good dinner because I was probably going to deliver that night. I was excited and hopeful. Well, the contractions eventually slowed down. I continued to have regular contractions that would start and stop. I just couldn't believe I was still pregnant. I was 41 weeks!

The next morning I laid in bed crying. Tim and I prayed and I tried not to worry. Later that morning we went to my appointment. Since my doctor was out of town, I saw one of the nurse practitioners. She checked me and I was almost 4 cm dilated and my bag of water was bulging through the cervix. Good news overall. After checking me she told me I could go straight to the hospital and they would break my water. She was completely shocked when I said no. I told her I wanted a natural birth and wanted baby to come on his own. It's funny because she didn't know what to say. She ended up saying she would have to go consult with one of the doctors to see if they would "let" me go home. She came back and said the doctor said we could go home because he didn't think I'd last the weekend. But, if I was still pregnant on Monday, I would have to be induced.

I was already 8 days past my estimated due date! When would this baby come?!

Josiah's Birth Story Part 2

Our Christmas Traditions

Right before Mikaela's first Christmas, I read an article that changed the way we view gift giving.  If you are like many Christian parents, you want your kids to understand the true meaning of this holiday we celebrate. It's not about Santa. It's not about presents. It's about celebrating the birth of our Savior. It is difficult to get that message across when your kids are buried in wrapping paper. Even if you go to the Christmas Eve church service, all the kids are thinking about is what Santa is bringing them. So how do you de-commercialize and help your kids understand the TRUE meaning of Christmas?

The article I read talked about giving three gifts that represent the three gifts Jesus received. What an amazing idea! I've heard of giving three gifts because that is how many Jesus received, but never heard of them REPRESENTING what he received. I thought it was exactly what we needed to help bring Christ back into Christmas!

1st Tradition

Here's how it breaks down:
The first gift Jesus received from the wise men was gold. Back then, gold was more valuable than it is today. It was something only highly regarded people possessed. Definitely fit for a King! This gift of gold most likely helped Mary and Joseph escape from Bethlehem to Egypt.

Explain to your kids the importance of this gift to Jesus and his family. Then give them their gold gift. This should be a gift that is something they really want. It is usually the most expensive of the three gifts. We usually give the kids a new bike or something big they've been wanting, (a few times we've gotten bikes from Craigslist that are gently used). Wrap it in gold paper or put a gold bow on it.

The second gift Jesus received was Frankincense. This is a white resin or sap from trees in East Africa and Southern Arabia. It is known for it's healing properties, such as anti-fungal, anti-inflammatory and anti-septic, which would have been really helpful with a newborn!

Frankincense was also very sacred for religious purposes. Many times in the Bible, God specifically requests that frankincense be used as sacred incense in His Temple and forbids the Israelites to use it for anything besides His religious purposes. God commanded them to place frankincense in front of the Tent of Meeting to scent the place where he had promised to meet with them. How fitting then that the wise men would bring this gift for Jesus who had become our Emmanuel: God with us!

The frankincense gift should be something that helps your child "meet" with God. A Bible, devotional, worship CD or journal are a few ideas. For younger kids, a Veggie Tales DVD or Praise CD/DVD may work. We've done all of the above as frankincense gifts over the years. Wrap it in white paper.

The third gift Jesus received was Myrrh. This is also resin from a special tree, but it is dark brown and has a strong aroma. In Jesus' time it was used to scent anointing oils, perfumes and embalming liquids. It may seem odd that the wise men gave Jesus a gift that was used for embalming, but when you consider that He was born to eventually die for our sins, the symbolism becomes easier to understand.   In John 19:39-40 it is confirmed that Nicodemus did anoint Jesus with myrrh as part of his burial preparation. Explain to your kids that even though Jesus entered the world as a baby, He was sent to die on the cross to take the punishment for each of our sins.

So what kind of gift do you give that represents myrrh? Something to prepare for their funeral? Um, no. A more fitting gift would be something to "anoint" their body. Such as: perfume, cologne, lotion, soap, shampoo. (I found this soap at the local natural grocer and got it for Mikaela last year. It is pricey for a bar of soap, but it is a special gift and smells amazing!!! http://www.soap.com/p/zum-bar-frankincense-myrrh-77275) Younger kids would enjoy bubbles or tub soaps. You could also consider combs, hair products, hooded bath towels or slippers. Wrap this gift in earth-toned paper.

Hopefully, these gifts will help remind your kids why we celebrate Christmas and bring more meaning into your celebration! Remember, the first and most important gift that was given on Christmas was not from the wise men, but from God: the gift of His son Jesus, our Savior!

To reduce expenses and avoid detracting from the three gifts, we've also limited gifts to each other. Instead of each child giving and receiving a gift from their sibling, each child receives one gift from all of their siblings and we limit the cost for each gift to $10-$15. This year, Mikaela suggested all six of us draw names and do a Secret Santa instead. We thought it was a great idea! (She got the idea from the show "19 kids and counting". The Duggars are an inspiration to her and I love it!)

2nd Tradition

Another tradition we started several years ago is being at home for Christmas morning. We usually travel for Thanksgiving, so I like to be home for Christmas. This is a compromise that Tim and I have made. It is not important to him whose house we are at for Christmas morning. However, I really, REALLY enjoy waking up in our own home and having our own traditions play out.

We begin every Christmas morning by eating breakfast, having some hot chocolate and listening to Christmas music. The kids have free reign to go through their stockings during this time. (The stockings are filled with a little bit of candy, a toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, chapstick, a couple of small toys, books or a DVD.) Then Tim gets a Bible and the kids sit with him as he reads about Jesus' birth. The past couple of years the older two kids have started reading part of it too! Then we discuss what the three gifts represent and begin opening gifts. What I love about our Christmas mornings is that we are making it meaningful. It's not over in 15 minutes!

Now what about Santa and stockings? Tim and I have had many discussions about whether or not Santa should be included in Christmas from a Christian perspective. I feel like it takes away from the real meaning of Christmas and would rather do away with the commercialized Santa. Tim feels like it's harmless fun and it wasn't detrimental to us when we were kids. We both REALLY enjoyed the stockings when we were kids, (we still do). So we compromised and kept Santa...for awhile.

Tim has fond memories of having fun with Santa. When Mikaela was two years old, Tim went outside her window and pretended to be Santa by ringing jingle bells and saying HO, HO, HO! He then went into her room to see if she had heard "Santa" and brought her out to the living room to show her what Santa had brought her. It was fun and I have it on video. :)

St. Nicolas was a great man and a great example for us. But the commercialized Santa is what the kids see. Over the years, we've started going away from Santa filling the stockings. Now the credit goes to Mom and Dad instead of a fictitious man with big belly and long beard! ;)

3rd Tradition

When the older two were very young, I heard about a Christmas ornament tradition that I loved and implemented right away! Each year the kids pick out an ornament for the tree. I write their name and the year on it. When they eventually move out, they will get to take all of those ornaments with them and have at least 18 (no more than 25 ;)) to start decorating their own tree! It has been so much fun seeing which ornament each child chooses and why. I love when we decorate the tree each year and we all are reminded of each ornament! I also love that the ornaments on our tree have meaning behind them.

I hope you've enjoyed reading about our Christmas traditions! Please let me know if you decide to do any of these or already are doing them!

May you and your family have a blessed Christmas!

*The article I read was from Christian Parenting Today magazine dated Fall 2002.

A Change of Heart-Part 3 of 3

I learned quite a bit from these films, my books and the childbirth class. First, the c-section rate in this country has and continues to skyrocket. (Remember my main motivation for doing all of this was to avoid a c-section, if at all possible.) Also, women who want to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) are being told no more and more often. For the most part, it's not because it isn't possible. Plenty of women have very successful VBAC's. Many doctors don't want to take the risk and it is much easier/convenient for everyone (or so we're told) to just keep having c-sections. 

Now, I realize there are definitely situations that arise where a c-section is absolutely necessary. And thank God we have medical advancements that allow doctors to save us and our babies! However, we've become a culture of convenience, including childbirth. You pick the date you want your baby born and you've got it.

Personally, I believe God designed our bodies to go into labor when the baby is ready. Not when the doctor thinks the baby is ready. (God really tested me with baby #4!) Of course there are exceptions. Our bodies do not always function the way God intended. But, we've become a society that has made it the rule.

The second bit of information I learned from the films and books was how Pitocin and Cytotec work. Pitocin is a synthetic drug given via IV to induce labor and/or get contractions regulated. The contractions are much stronger than normal contractions and cause added stress to the baby. This is another reason why a lot births end up in an emergency c-section.

Cytotec, also known as Misoprostol, is another drug used to induce labor. It is much less expensive than Pitocin and works better to induce labor because it also causes the cervix to thin out. Sometimes the two drugs are used together if the cervix hasn't changed. Cytotec is in a pill form so it is given by being inserted vaginally. 

What I didn't know is that Cytotec is NOT approved for labor induction. Its intended use is for the prevention of ulcers. The manufacturer warns that it should not be used on pregnant women because it could induce labor. Since it is a less expensive drug, physicians started using Cytotec "off label" to induce labor. 

The result? Women and babies have died because Cytotec can cause uterine ruptures and a doubled risk of amniotic fluid embolism. Because it is being used "off label" and is in a pill form, the physicians guess the dosage. Generally, the dose is half a pill. The manufacturer wrote a letter to warn against this "off label" use, but The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists doesn't think there is enough evidence to support discontinuing its use for labor induction.

If you've read the birth story of baby #2, then you know I was given Cytotec because my contractions slowed down after I received an epidural. Nobody told me the risks of this drug. I trusted my doctor to do what was best for me and my baby. 7 years later, I chose to take control of my childbirth experience and learned a lot more than I thought I would.

Ladies, we've given up our power. We're not very educated about one of the most important decisions of our lives. We go along with whatever our doctor suggests because they know best, right? I would encourage you to do some research and find a doctor or midwife who is willing to listen to you and help you experience the best childbirth possible.

Childbirth was intended to be an amazing, miraculous experience. Instead it's filled with horror stories. The end result is a precious baby. I wanted to experience an amazing childbirth in the process too...and let me tell you, it was truly amazing and rewarding! I will be sharing his birth story soon!

A Change of Heart-Part 2 of 3

My husband didn't understand why I would want to change things. He said having a natural childbirth was like getting a root canal without pain medication. Why would I want to do that to myself? Medical advancements have given us wonderful drugs to mask the pain. The epidural worked fine with the other 3 and since this was going to be our last birth, he figured we shouldn't change it now. Especially because I would be delivering in about 6-8 weeks.

After a few days of talking and tears, he finally understood how important it was to me. Particularly because it was going to be our last birth. I found out he was nervous about being my labor coach. When you go through labor just as long as you have to before getting an epidural, you really don't need a labor coach. He's never had to be that kind of support for me. I can understand the pressure he would be feeling. We agreed that I would look for a doula (professional labor coach) so he wouldn't have to be my main source of labor support.

I checked to see if my friend who teaches the childbirth classes would be available to offer us a shortened class. She got me in touch with a lady who was able to give us a private class. I'm so glad we took the class. It helped answer some of our questions and got us on the same page. It was great to gain more knowledge from another woman who has gone through natural childbirth. Her encouragement really helped give me confidence and hope that I could do it too.

My next task was finding a doula. I was talking with a good friend who suggested I see if a friend of hers would be willing to be my doula. She was almost certified to be a midwife so she might be a good fit. After a couple of emails and a phone call,  she agreed to be my doula. I was so relieved! It looked like I was finally going to get a better birthing experience where I was in control.

I continued reading my books and doing the exercises to prepare for the big day. There were a couple of documentaries on Netflix that we watched. The first was The Business of Being Born. I had a "lightbulb" moment while watching this film. They talked about how common it is to hear women sharing their horror stories of childbirth. SO TRUE! The film really opened my eyes to childbirth in America. Frankly, it's very sad to see how we have given up control of our childbirth experiences. I highly recommend this documentary, but be forewarned, there are a few scenes of women giving birth. ;)

The second documentary we watched was Pregnant in America. A father expecting his first child decides to document their experience. I thought it was a very good film. It also peaked my interest because they live in my hometown of Tucson, AZ.

Watching these films gave me more confidence and knowledge that I was making the right decision for me and my baby. I realized that many of the issues I had with my previous births were most likely the result of the interventions I received. It is VERY common for contractions to slow down once you receive an epidural. It is VERY common to receive Pitocin or Cytotec in order to get the contractions going again. It is also VERY common for these chain of events to lead to a c-section. Thankfully, I had a doctor who gave me a chance to deliver on my own with baby #2 & #3, without jumping to an emergency c-section like too many doctors would have done.

And now, for the rest of the story:
Change-of-heart-part-3-of-3

A Change of Heart-Part 1 of 3

Ten years ago, I was pregnant with baby #1. I had no doubt in my mind that I would get an epidural come delivery time. I couldn't understand why anyone would choose to have a natural childbirth in this day and age. I figured there was no reason to attempt it when there are great drugs to eliminate the pain.

We took a childbirth class at the hospital. I didn't get a whole lot out of it though. With baby #2 and #3, I didn't think I needed to take a refresher class. I thought I was a pro by this point and didn't think a class would be of any help.

I experienced back labor with baby #1. It was difficult to go through the pain of labor until I was dilated enough to get an epidural. The biggest side effect I experienced was uncontrollable shaking. I was so cold from the fluids rushing into my body. It was miserable, but I thought it was better than the pain of back labor.

Baby #2 was not back labor. I was very thankful! The labor was still very painful, but at least it wasn't in my back. When it was time, I got an epidural. I experienced the same side effects as the first time. However, this time the epidural caused my contractions to slow down too. In order to get the contractions back on track, the nurse gave me a drug called Cytotec. It worked and labor progressed.

When baby #2 was born, he was very quiet. The nurse ended up taking him from me right after he was born because she said he was holding his breath. She put him on oxygen for a little while and thumped his foot to get him to start crying and breathing better. After that, he was fine.

My labor and delivery with baby #3 was pretty traumatic. It was back labor again. I did not handle the labor very well. I was close to hyperventilating, my face was tingling and my eye was twitching. When I got the epidural, I experienced the same side effects as the first time. Then my blood pressure tanked and the baby's heart rate plummeted. I had to be put on oxygen and an internal monitor was placed in the baby's head before he was born. Thankfully, he delivered normally and was just fine.

After baby #3, I decided that if we were going to have a baby #4, I wanted it to be different. I didn't want to experience the panicked, out of control feeling I had with baby #3. My other fear with having a fourth baby was ending up with a cesarean section. I had 3 normal deliveries and I didn't want to end up having a cesarean with the last birth.

I wasn't sold on the idea of having an unmedicated birth because I wasn't sure I could do it. But, I did want to learn some techniques on how to handle my labor better. I have a friend who teaches childbirth classes and I was interested in learning more about it in order to be better prepared for baby #4. The classes were once a week for about 3 months. With my husband working and going to school full time, he wasn't interested in adding something else to his schedule. I understood and accepted the fact that I would probably end up getting an epidural and pray I could deliver without a cesarean.

When I was 32 weeks pregnant with baby #4 I had a change of heart. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law were in town with their baby. We started talking about her labor and delivery. I found out they went through the same set of childbirth classes that my friend teaches. She also told me that she had an unmedicated birth WITH Pitocin! I was completely amazed! (Pitocin is a synthetic drug that is used to induce labor. The contractions are much stronger and much more painful than normal.) It was then that I decided, if she can have a natural labor and endure the added pain of Pitocin, then surely I could do it! 

I was inspired and had a whole new respect for my sister-in-law. She encouraged me to read the Bradley Method book called Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way and practice the exercises on my own. Her encouragement and faith in me that I could do it meant so much to me.

I immediately bought the book and contacted my friend who teaches the classes. I was hoping to be able to take a shorter version of the class. She suggested that I buy Ina May Gaskin's book called Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. My friend was a huge source of support for me as well. I had my mind made up and had some good support, but I needed to get my husband on board...

Here's the next part of the story:
Change-of-heart-part-2-of-3

Thumbs up for you!

There was an accident on the way to school. I needed to get over because one lane was blocked off. I saw an opening and turned on my signal to get over. It looked like a car was giving me space to come over, so I did and waved thank you. Well, apparently I was wrong.

She laid on her horn and then drove up next to me on the shoulder to get back in front of me. We were stopped, so when she tried to get around me she had to stop next to me. I looked at her and she looked at me. I gave her a 'thumbs up' and a big smile. I was expecting her to look angry or use some hand gestures, but she didn't do either. She probably expected a different response from me too and was perplexed by my cheesy grin. I mean, how could you be angry at a women driving a minivan with 4 kids and who gives you a big smile and a thumbs up for showing off how cool you are?

I think a lot of people would have honked back or given her the "bird". Since I do a lot of driving with kids these days, I had to come up with something besides flipping people off to express myself. So, instead of getting angry and cursing under my breath, I decided to show my sarcasm through giving dumb drivers the thumbs up sign. I feel much better since I started doing it. :)

I'm a very passive driver most of the time. It drives my husband crazy. He's much more aggressive. I think it's pretty typical for men to be more aggressive drivers, but he also drives quite a bit for work too. When we're in the car together, he'll forget that the kids are in the car sometimes. I haven't gotten him to start giving people a thumbs up yet. (He doesn't flip people off either though.)

When I was eight months pregnant I encounter a very aggressive and foolish driver. I was driving in the center lane and needed to get over so I could get into the left turn lane at the next light. There was a lot of traffic and there wasn't much opportunity to get over without cutting someone off. I saw enough room to get over and turned on my signal. The car sped up and wouldn't let me over. I got over behind him and then preceded to move into the left turn lane. It was a double turn lane so I chose the lane he wasn't going into. Then he decided to play a game with me. I wasn't amused.

As I tried to get into the lane next to him, he got over in front of me. I tried to go into the opposite lane and he did it again. I tried a third time and he did it again. At first I didn't realize he was doing it on purpose. By the third time I knew he was screwing with me. We were finally stopped at the light and I was pissed. I laid on my horn for a good minute. I wanted to get out of the car and yell at him for being so stupid. But I didn't. I was so upset that I was shaking. Once the light turned green and we turned, he made sure to stay in front of me so I couldn't get around him. He finally turned onto a different street. I was very tempted to continue following him. I decided not to because it probably would not have ended well.

When I got home, I was so upset that I started crying. I was upset that it happened, but also that I let him get to me. Since I'm not an aggressive driver, it bothered me that he was baiting me and I fell for it.
When you mess with someone like that, you have no idea what the reaction is going to be. I was a hormonal pregnant women with 3 kids in a minivan. (He was driving a Ford Focus.) It made me think that you never know what the mental state of someone is going to be. I can see how road rage can get out of control and people get seriously hurt or killed.

Not long after that incident, I came up with giving the thumbs up to people instead of getting upset. It has helped me a lot and hopefully sets a better example for my kids.

We see examples of rude and aggressive drivers all the time. I've been able to explain to the kids what other drivers are doing that is wrong. Usually it's drivers slowing down because they think the person behind them is driving too close. They purposely drive slow enough to block in the person behind them so they cannot be passed. I know it's tempting and I've done it before.

Seeing it done to other people and personally experiencing overly aggressive drivers has caused me to rethink my actions. It's just not worth it. My life and my children's lives are worth so much more than an impatient driver and engaging in road rage. Of course, I'm not perfect and I make mistakes, but overall this new way of thinking while I drive has really helped me.